Miss Manners: Broken stitching machine, damaged friendship | Lifestyles

Pricey Miss Manners: Whereas stitching hundreds of face masks to donate to household, mates and society generally, I made a decision it made sense to have two stitching machines. A lady in my social circle had a stitching machine sitting unused, so I requested if I may purchase it from her.

She was excited to be rid of the machine, and mentioned she wanted the $350 to buy swim garments. I knew I must give the machine a correct cleansing, however I ended up having to take it to a mechanic, one other $300 funding on my half. He mentioned it was fortunate I didn’t attempt to use the machine, because the threads wound up inside would have precipitated critical harm.

Though my pal could not have understood why the machine wasn’t working correctly, she knew it was having issues. But she mentioned nothing to me previous to taking my cash.

I’ve not confronted her. She has a behavior of taking part in the harmless sufferer, performing like she doesn’t perceive why somebody is upset together with her. As a substitute, I’ve merely backed off, and excluded her from my friendship. I’ve not mentioned the scenario with anybody else.

She’s been telling anybody who will pay attention how terrible I’ve handled her and the way she’s been left and not using a stitching machine, as if she made a terrific sacrifice on my behalf. That is starting to trigger issues with the opposite gals, who’re questioning my therapy of her.

Is there a degree at which I ought to communicate up, or ought to I proceed to stay silent?

Mild Reader: Your pal could not have offered you a working machine, however she gave you an iron-clad response to anybody who repeats her calumnies: “Really? I’m surprised. When she sold me the machine, she told me she was happy to get rid of it as she was not using it. I don’t think she realized that it needed serious repairs.”

Pricey Miss Manners: We acquired a dinner invitation from my brother-in-law as a result of household from one other state was visiting. We accepted, and some days earlier than the deliberate occasion, my brother-in-law mentioned he deliberate on making lamb.

When he realized that I don’t eat lamb, he mentioned, “I can throw a piece of chicken on the grill, or would you rather bring your own food?”

Caught off guard, I simply mentioned, “Chicken is OK.” In hindsight, I’m pondering this was relatively cheesy, particularly as a result of I repeatedly host dinners at our dwelling with out asking anybody to carry something. How ought to I’ve responded, or am I overanalyzing this?

Mild Reader: Though Miss Manners acknowledges that the accepted reverse of overanalyzing is “moving on” (no matter which means), she can’t assist however really feel {that a} bit extra evaluation is required.

Your brother-in-law invited you to dinner, gave you a preview of the menu, so that you just had an opportunity to voice issues, after which, whenever you did, provided an alternate. You’re calling him cheesy for this? The response you might be in search of is “Thank you,” maybe with an added apology for being a trouble.

Ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site,; to her e-mail,; or to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106

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