Dear Annie: Misery with no firm after 22-years of sexless marriage

Dear Annie: My husband took away all intercourse and the whole lot that went with it 22 years in the past. I hate my wasted life. I divorced him in 2019, however we share a home. Neither of us has youngsters or relations shut by, so we type of deal with one another.

I’m at a degree the place I hate my scenario. I principally reside in my bed room and are available out just for meals, water and to go to the lavatory. We share the home cleansing. My ex is a really argumentative particular person and a slob. He has made the lounge into his bed room, sleeping in a recliner. He’s 73, and I can be 70 in June. I’ve no buddies and I hardly ever go anyplace. I’m caught on this stinking city, the place I’ve lived for 20 years. The closest metropolis is 24 miles away. I completely hate my life. What ought to I do? — Dwelling in Misery

Dear Misery: First issues first, begin by getting out of the home you so clearly hate. Whether or not it’s taking a stroll or visiting that closest metropolis for a daytrip, getting a change of surroundings can change your perspective.

See what teams or golf equipment exist close to you; it’s an effective way to satisfy new folks and begin making buddies. Rediscover your hobbies. What used to convey you pleasure? Be gone the times of sitting at residence, a prisoner in your personal life. There’s a lot to see and do on the market past the 4 partitions of your bed room, so get to it. Take into account looking for the assistance of a licensed therapist to work via your emotions of despair.

Whereas these are good issues to distract your self proper now, you additionally want to consider the long run. What steps are you taking to get out of this home and away out of your ex-husband? If it’s a matter of cash, start planning the way you may safe your personal housing within the close to future. If it’s a matter of comfortability, maybe it’s time to just accept the truth that that is all-time low. Every day you select to proceed residing in your previous is a day of your future you’ll be able to’t get again.

Dear Annie: My nephew is getting married subsequent month. The marriage and reception are going to be outdoors at a resort. Once we received the invitation, on the again of the cardboard, it stated if we weren’t vaccinated, we’re to remain away as there can be aged folks, and the couple needs them to be secure.

Neither my husband nor I are vaccinated by alternative. Clearly, I’m very harm by this request. It’s an outside social gathering, and COVID restrictions have relaxed considerably the place they’re getting married.

The bride and groom aren’t asking for verification of vaccinations; they’re simply trusting folks to be truthful, and they’re asking folks to put on masks. I used to be upfront and informed them that we aren’t vaxxed.

Am I being unreasonable for pondering that because it’s an outside occasion, our presence there wouldn’t hurt anybody? I feel the bride and groom have gone overboard with panic. To me, asking folks to put on masks outdoors is ludicrous. Am I unsuitable? — Very Harm in Arizona

Dear Very Harm: You might not see eye to eye with the bride and groom on COVID precautions, however in the end, it’s their day and their ceremony — and what they are saying goes. Along with older wedding-goers, there may very well be company in attendance with well being considerations you aren’t conscious of, which certainly may put them at larger danger in the event that they’re uncovered to those that are unvaccinated.

If it makes your nephew and his bride-to-be extra snug to err on the facet of maximum warning, you don’t have any alternative however to respect their alternative.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — that includes favourite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is obtainable as a paperback and e-book. Go to for extra info. Ship your questions for Annie Lane to


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